Pixie Lighthorse | Self-Healing Writer

Writer: Self-Healing Earth-Centered Books

Portal Seeker

I love to talk. This is quite possibly why I’ve found myself enthusiastically guiding others through their psychic territories to unearth simple wisdom and peace within them.

Wisdom fascinates me in its simplicity. I am intellectually mystified by how humans complicate life by believing things about themselves and others which are not true. What is informing this?

I love to talk with people about portals: tunnels into the inner consciousness which enable us to conduct our own philosophical quests and treasure hunts. It’s like spelunking! There are far more ways into Narnia than through the coats at the back of the wardrobe. I’m sometimes surprised how afraid some people are of opening the vaults of their souls.

Can you recall a moment in your life when you have known your exact place and purpose in the Universe? It can feel like a teaser for the flavor of life which excites our life force. We remember it always. We live our entire lives trying to get back to that feeling, that sensation, that elegant and spirited second of satisfaction. It is one of the tremendous beauties of being human, this facet. It also has the power to take us all the way to the ground with addictive patterns and hungry ghosts which won’t be satisfied. Misled quests can lead to much sorrow.

As we seek through the culture, our families, the memories, our psychic composition, we find little clues about what gave us that taste of oneness with a force of life greater than ourselves.

Opening the portals does not have to be a scary, fight-or-flight proposition. Having some structural support around the process helps heal those things which caused us to form the incorrect beliefs which are informing our experience of life.

Book Two: Still A Big Fan of Self-Publishing

Last year I wrote about what it was like to forego the conventional process of proposing and writing a book. Even after being courted by two major publishers, I’m still convinced that self-publishing is the way to get into the habit of writing, of being an author. There are certainly good reasons for publishing with a big house, (although I’m hearing a few stories which seriously give me pause), but I am continuing to love the self-pubbing.

Here are a few things I’ve had to keep in mind while creating collections of words and language:

  1. Work with someone amazing to help with layout, mediation with editors and deadlines. My process would not be so smooth without the help of Twozdai Hulse.
  2. Hole up in a hotel or quiet place away from home for 4-5 days when creativity stalls.
  3. Add two months to the expected deadline for having a final proof in-hand. If you’re like me and deadlines create a lot of stress, do this right at that point where you’re starting to freak out managing everything which comes up while trying to create meaningfully. It’s sort of like setting the clock ahead ten minutes. I fool myself every time.
  4. Plan a big celebration at each milestone, which is each time I complete my part and hand it to the editor. A big celebration for me means dinner I don’t have to cook.
  5. Have a book release shindig. I still haven’t done this. Hmm.

2017 Favorites

In past years I’ve posted a pre-holiday list of items and sites I love and think are worthy of energy, consumption dollars and acquisition. This year, I’ve saved these items for New Year inspiration, keeping in mind how these tools have helped me in the hopes that they will help you, too. I have loved working alongside these people and projects in 2016 and love knowing them (well, not Tim Burton…!).

For Plant Medicine Care During Trying Times:

Amulette Studios

Tanya’s oil blends have been critical lifesavers at moving emotions through for me in the past month since meeting her at a local Bend artisan fair.

She Told Stories

Bella’s blends leave me feeling supported and held by a synergy greater that the sum of all parts. Her Heart Elixir is pure magic.

 

For Moving and Circulating Your Precious Body

Primal Vinyasa with Annie Adamson (Which I just saw is FREE through January!)

Art of Attention with Elena Brower

 

For Slowing Down (or stopping time altogether):

The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating by Elisabeth Tova Bailey

Burgs & Mt. Wolf Trance Med and everything Burgs, including The Survival Guide to Staying Conscious

 

For Fun, Imagination and a New World Coming:

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

A Year of Painting with Alena Hennessy

 

For a Healthy Snack That Also Travels Well by my circle sister, Cinnamon:

Recipe for Goddess Warrior Survival Snacks (affectionately known around here as Cinnamon’s Warrior Balls)

 

Mindblowing Talismans

Blood Milk Jewels

 

For Creative and Life Inspiration:

Moving Water, by Christine Mason Miller

Creative Revolution, by Flora Bowley

Curvy Yoga, by Anna Guest-Jelley

Get Through Your Divorce Without Losing Your Shit, by Keri Kettle

Soul Hums, by Kolleen Harrison

 

Gifts with Meaning

8th Generation Blankets

NTVS (my Sage Against the Machine tee came from here)

 

GIVE BACK

Feeding America

Farmworker Justice

Couldn’t have said it better than Indigenous #NODAPL Coalition’s 10 Struggles You Can Support in 2017

Please support cultural diversity, gender diversity and biodiversity!

How To Get In

You know it when you feel it.

Maybe your way in is through sitting still on a zafu or on a flat rock at the edge of a mesa.

Maybe your way in is through the scripture of the Bible, a prophet’s holy language meant to help you get inside with the spirit.

Maybe your way in is surfing big waves off the coast of Vietnam or through handling the ladle at the soup kitchen at the mission.

Maybe your way in is when the bark cuts into the soles of your feet as your toes search for something they can trust.

Maybe you get in through a writing prompt, the shamanic beat of a drum, by falling softly into the dreamworld.

Maybe your way in is through the paintbrush, the clay, the molten silver.

Maybe it’s in the way you swing your saddle up onto your pony’s back at dawn and put your feet in the stirrups.

Maybe it is through the river of milk which flows from your breast or the lifeblood pouring into the Earth.

Maybe your way in is in the way you knead the dough, stir the porridge  or change the bedding of your elder parent, in a filial way if not a personal one.

Maybe your way in is carved by the kindness on your tongue for your lover.

Maybe you slide into connection with that magnificent something that cradles (perhaps greater than the imagination can conjure except maybe in patterns of constellations) by seeing it reflected back at you in the children’s sparkling laughter, the long new flower on a squash plant, the twinkle of mica on a stretch of sand, your exhale after years of holding.

2016 In Review

Sacred Voice with Raven | Animal Medicine | SouLodge

The year is coming to an end. As I reflected on all that has passed for those I have witnessed, I made some notes. In the end, I think the observations might really be for all of us.

I want to remember the infinite divinity that surrounds and fills us, as each of us in our way, prepares to tackle, cope with, and get a handle on the changes we are being asked to make.

With no shortage of tearfulness on this New Moon in Sagittarius, the noble archer aimed right at our hearts, I want you to know that I saw it when:

 

 

You asked for community.

You asked to be heard.

You asked for strength.

You stood up for yourself.

You asked for equality.

You took a risk.

You said a prayer.

You made a practice.

You accepted.

You wasted less.

You cherished more.

You connected the Source of Infinite Love within you.

You paved the way for someone else.

You didn’t back down.

You fought hard.

You fought for love.

You said NO.

You said YES.

You believed.

You scaled down.

You expanded.

You grew.

You appreciated.

You spoke.

You wrote it down.

You re-committed.

You made a new promise.

You withstood the torrent.

You planted.

You harvested.

You discovered a new way.

You rode that wave.

You bled.

You lost.

You grieved.

You healed your heart.

You let yourself feel.

You let yourself rest.

You surrendered.

You celebrated.

You took refuge.

You loved when you thought you couldn’t.

You rose.

You released.

You reclaimed.

Thank you.

The Promise of the Wounding

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If one were to fill out an application to get the job of being a mother, significant experience would be required in the areas of nurturing, protecting, empowering and initiating babies and small children. Unfortunately, the most important job for humankind is a no prerequisite situation. For this, there are many costs.

A mother wound is an internalized injury which occurs through a lack of nurture, protection, empowerment and/or initiation by the mother or caregiver who is responsible for the child’s growth, development and health. Click here to see who has a mother wound.

Cultural lack of emphasis on these four fundamental areas, mothers’ inabilities and/or unwillingness to be available to the child during infancy and developmental years, increased societal pressures to have both parents working away from the home, class separation/socioeconomics, and an increase of single parenting have influenced our adult lives dramatically.

It is easy to ascertain that because values and practice around child rearing have undergone major changes since industrialization, mother woundings are quite commonly blamed for many struggles today. Where do we begin to address them?

It helps to think of healing as a spiritual practice to treat strong emotions which inform illness.

It may help to believe that there is a promise held inside the wound:

When acknowledged, honored and given voice, a healed wound bears the resilient scar of experience, knowing, growth and wisdom.

I began working with my mother wound in 2003, when a debilitating miscarriage caused a wave of grief to sweep over me, shining a floodlight on the trauma held within my family of origin. Clinical and traditional therapies, a decade of shamanic training and energy healing in circle with women my mother’s age, fifteen years of giving and receiving bodywork, bringing to life two children I promise to stand by for all of their days, 4 consecutive trainings in parenting communication and personality disorders, + establishing no-contact with my mother have really helped.

I think this work is of utmost importance because when the mother wound is activated, we and everyone around us is hurt and affected. Relationships diminish in joy, strength and longevity. Souls dim down. Purposes are not lived and fulfilled. Hopelessness, anxiety and depression are disabling. Compassion is withheld. Earth is dishonored. Faith in the infinite is compromised.

Creative Movement for Solidarity: #artistsforlove

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Last week I said YES to an invitation to stand in solidarity with those threatened by the presidential election results here in the States. We have taken an inventory of where we can be more active in supporting the people who will need it most while all three branches of the federal government align with mega-corp strategies to corrupt what is sacred to us: human rights and conservation of the earth.

Artists For Love is on a mission to create a big wave of solidarity, sending a message of hope and healing to those who are feeling alone, afraid, ostracized, carrying fear about their bodies, health benefits, access to clean water, and their place in this country’s economy.

I believe that there are few things more powerful than a group of love-minded people who have decided to use their platforms collectively to create a strong statement of unwavering indivisibility, what Lincoln referred to as “preserving the Union”. Those of us who may have had an easier time enjoying our rights must step up our game to protect those who are struggling to establish and hold on to theirs. Though many of us have very different concerns and priorities, and may not understand where the other is coming from, we can take the opportunity to honor one another as humans.

HERE’S HOW YOU CAN GET INVOLVED:

  1. To print a PDF poster of my image CLICK HERE. Hang it on your mirror or at the local coffee shop/bus stop/grocery store/yoga studio with a love note from you! Check out Flora Bowley’s image and print it out too! Check out a huge gallery of printables at Kelly Rae’s site, too!
  2.  Pin, share in your social media outlets, print and hang in your communities + create your own digital imagery using the hashtag #artistsforlove so we can find you.
  3. Send your .jpegs to me at soulodgeretreats at gmail.com and I’ll add the first ten I receive to the gallery below. Be sure to include your name so I can caption your image! Post your images on your website (if you have one) and let folks print it! Share in the comments where you’d like to see resources, healing energy, love, and support flowing to!
  4. We will be looking for you on Instagram, so make sure to use #artistsforlove !!

If, like me, you wholeheartedly support the ongoing evolution for petroleum alternatives and stand behind the water protectors showing up in protest against the military presence at Standing Rock in South Dakota please consider making a donation to their legal fund. This battle is reaching a critical point. Today is a BIG DAY for #NODAPL DAY OF ACTION, check out the map and see if there is an event in your area!

“This is precisely the time when artists go to work. There is no place for despair, no time for self-pity, no need for silence, no room for fear. We speak, we write, we do language. This is how civilizations heal.” -Toni Morrison

Braver New World

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It is a strange day to be a woman in the western world today. Especially if one was required to read a thieve’s share of dystopian novels in high school and college: 1984, Animal Farm, The Handmaid’s Tale, anything by Margaret Atwood or Ayn Rand, actually, and so many more. Ahem.

Many thoughts have live-streamed through my mind on this unforgettable day in history. The presidential election in the U.S. seems to be spotlighting all of the archetypes (a collectively-inherited unconscious idea, pattern of thought, image, etc., that is universally present in individual psyches) in those around me: Healer, Mystic, Rebel, Activist, Teacher, Mother, Hero, Warrior, Altruist…and the darker ones, too: Victim, Saboteur, Prostitute, Orphan Child-the hopeful and the hopeless feeding us their thoughts, quotes, anecdotes and fears all at once in a great and desperate windfall to escape the feelings. I have heard today that people are “terrified”, “horrified”, “scared to death”, “seeking to flee other countries”, “outraged”, “angry”, and fed up. Some of those who voted the arrogant madman in seem to be unsure whether he will fulfill their hopes or create a third world war, but I’m assuming are willing to take their chances. This is only in my insular, non-FB world, limited to Insta and mass, all-day texting.

As I’ve sat with my own inventory and ignored much of the news, I found a few thoughts making the rounds:

Politics stir our hopes and our fears in one big stew of emotions with nothing left to do but drink it all down. Huge hangover factor.

Collective rage, disappointment and frustration are powerful emotions when directed appropriately. When directed inappropriately, they cause much destruction.

Every day, passionate action calls. Many days we opt not to pick up.

The earth is our home, and she will be here whether we are or not. She is full to the brim with good medicine for the spirit and body, but there are many who do not wish to honor it. That makes the job evermore important for those who do.

The overculture is patriarchal, and what this means is that elder men of power are leading while everyone else-men, women and children-are disempowered and excluded from this process. It has to go. I believe it has been trying to release the death-grip for years for reasons both logical and cosmic. The answer is not  matriarchy, but a harmonious and sacred balance of the two.

I have heard many bold and courageous voices in the last six months, folks willing to risk becoming unpopular for speaking their values and standing on the front lines. Post-election depression often finds folks shelving their values and trying to work with what they are fed. Staying activated and energized is key. (Please keep speaking and living your values, in fact, amplify them.)

Aiming for physical, emotional and spiritual wellness is critical. That is to say everyone should be entitled to clean air, water, food which is fairly and sustainably grown and traded. This is not a privelege for the middle+ classes, which means attention must be given and resources shared with those who have not previously had access.

Women today can take heart knowing that we are not hated, we are feared. Why? Because we hold the keys to creation and nurture, the very things we are extremely deficient in. Men have these qualities, too, and some circles would deem them betraying their masculinity to say, comfort a child or talk about feelings. I think it is safe to say those days are over.

Consumption is out of control. Period. Our hunger for useless and petroleum-derived goods is driving local and international markets to the point of serious illness and ruin.

Convenience is a top priority in the west and no good is going to come of this.

Human spirit and human possibility are infinite and beautiful, and we have access to the high expression of it every single day. Right now. Our energy is real and it vibrates out and creates more of itself in others and the world (ever brought stress around a baby?). What we generate multiplies. If it is fear, then more fear will come. If it is shame, then more shame will come. If it is insecurity…you get my drift. If it is hope, commitment and dedication, more will be born. We humans are all magicians in this way.

I do not believe that a figurehead president and his homogeneous congress can make or break a nation of 325 million very diverse people.

Especially if those 325 million people know that they exist and hence, have a voice.

Holding Book 2 Close + Speaking Out

The big news around this campfire is that Prayers of Honoring VOICE is complete. I finished writing it. I’m not sure why it always amazes me when I finish something!

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I’m enjoying being complete, but must confess that I want more time to release it to the world- just to sit with it quietly and not hustle it to the press.

My team and I had originally scheduled it for release at Amazon just before the election in November (tick tock). I consulted someone who knows a great deal more than I do about the beauty of launching calmly and she advised offered me permission to sit back… instead of plowing forward like a head-down bull. What a strange new idea!! And hello to the challenges of walking my self-care talk.

Thing is, it’s a vulnerable creation and I need to hold it close for a little while. Sort of like keeping a baby all swaddled up while you sort out the emotions which come from realizing you don’t actually possess anything-babies and books have to fly out into the world on their own wings. We just get to nurture and cuddle them for a bit until they’re ready. It’s bittersweet, really.

There are so many things happening in this world (and this America) that are asking for us to SPEAK OUT in a bold way, but not just at Facebook or Twitter, Instagram or Snapchat.

Here are a few items I’ve seen in the past few days that said “BOLD VOICE ALERT”:

I see an unsuspecting man wearing “feminist” across his chest.

I see all colors among countless tipis and horseback warriors peppering the Sacred Stone Camp in Cannon Ball, North Dakota gathering the tribes and holding the line.

I see a black singer being pulled off deck minutes before singing the national anthem at an NBA game for wearing a “We Matter” shirt.

I see a Mexican artist challenging gender norms and a nation ready to legalize same-sex marriage

I see a queer white man raising a battle cry to align with black brothers and sisters against injustice and violence in Bend, Oregon.

I see a woman who designed an app to monitor chemical pollutants in water in remote areas of the world. The U.N. predicts that half of the world is expected to be in a water crisis by 2030.

I see a bold man giving “bystander intervention” trainings to curtail high school and college campus violence and rape.

I see a loving, passionate elder speaking from the grave reminding people to unify.

I see a local movement for women and girls growing stronger.

I see mandatory outdoor education for school children measures on my ballot.

 

It seems to be that the era of VOICE is upon us now more than ever. This is good and right.

Soon enough you will have a book of very personal prayers to support you, too.

 

Book cover design for Prayers of Honoring VOICE by Stacy de la Rosa

Autumn Stirs Up the Cauldron of Emotions

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For years I’ve heard around the campfire how triggersome October and November are. Folks struggle with the shadows this time of year more than others, it seems. My guess about why this happens is because the transition is from active and warm to cool and inward. As opposed to Spring, which so many are “ready for”, the promise of new life, Fall promises death. The garden has come down, leaves are falling, trees stripped bare, cloud cover looms. If it’s causing you to feel broody and shoe-gazey, there are likely lattès in seasonal flavors to cheer you. Entire marketing schemes are designed to stimulate our senses in a way which takes us out of those depressing post-Equinox feels, like Christmas decorations already being in stores weeks before Halloween to give us something to look forward to which is merry.

Death presents us with emotions we don’t want anything to do with, such as acknowledging our mortality and taking responsibility for the kind of life we’re leading, how much time we do or do not have left with loved ones, and making sure those left behind in the event of our own death are set up (Why the hell haven’t I set up that retirement fund yet, living will and trust, filled out the Five Wishes paperwork??) properly.

Additionally, the issue of noticing how the children in our lives have grown produces the bittersweet feeling of time passing too quickly. Back-to-School is a neverending reminder of how much the classmates grew over the summer and that the kids are another year older.

The inward seasons of Fall and Winter tend very naturally to cause a bundling, not just of the torso in cable-knits, but a bundling of the emotions for protective reasons. The fears and sensations which come up can drive you mad with uncertainty and discomfort, or you can greet them gently by the hearth and investigate. In fact, the wintry times provide us with the perfect setting for doing the restorative work of the soul-making things with our hands (cowichan, anyone?) while processing unresolved issues or making decisions, baking (check out Beth Kirby’s Pan de Muerto), and writing, writing, writing it all down (look no further for expert prompts and coaching, I’ve done my best work with this woman).

What’s important to me during this season is that I allow all that is flooding to me which matters meet with the part of me which knows, not just the part of me which is frightened by the unknown. It’s my last SouLodge course in the format I’ve been teaching in for 6 years without much change, and Honoring Grief with Owl (while holding hands with over 200 women who are going bravely to the Graveyard of Untended Sorrows to pay homage) calls me to the kind of ritual I love the most: courageous, reflective, reverent, balance-bringing, sweet, cathartic. It might sound a bit intense, but it’s not too scary when surrounded by like-mindeds.

Imagine how the trees feel: Releasing those leaves is easier to do in the company of those doing the same.