It’s a funny thing, writing. A person knows when she’s let herself get lazy with words and sentiments. It’s then that she must make her way back down a familiarish road to creating real meaning in the world.
How I’ve missed blogging!
A friend and I spoke recently about putting all of our eggs in one basket, meaning, our partners’. We waxed allegorically for weeks as her relationship story unfolded and unfurled into a reborn version after twenty years of partnership. We wondered-should we lean all the way in and trust? Or should we have a toe on the threshold, ready to make a new way should things become too frustrating, too loud, too incompatible, too conflictual, too hard, too impossible? In the final analysis, I figured that we might do well to lean all the way in-and actually, that we should take all of our cumulative eggs and put them in the basket of something greater than us human individuals-the soul of the relationship, perhaps. In the lap of Spirit, in the holy vessel of anything and everything which can hold the sum of our efforts together. This is the way of partnership for me: interdependence with a little conscious co-dependence thrown in for fun.
Real partnership, one in which something meaningful is being built, is a very exciting topic for me, of course.
I got a little tap of a wake up call last week as I prepared the meadow for twenty-two women to attend my first on-site Fire Circle. A notification from Facebook asked me to confirm my legal name with government-issue ID went practically unnoticed, having been through this with them years ago. I decided to deal with it when the retreat was over and I didn’t give it much more thought. I’d been having adverse feelings about the entity which has taken over the world- namedropped in every phone conversation, overheard in every hair salon and restaurant-the new norm for communication (and conflict) for the current generation.
The notion that I’d become remiss about connecting with my community in my way, at my pace, was playing over in my head, as it had many times since I expanded SouLodge, five years old this month. Did I really want to rely on Facebook to connect with my people and let them know what I’m creating? It certainly has been the easiest way…but is it the best I can do?
Returning from retreat, I found that my account had been removed. Gone. Suddenly invisible. I received hundreds of messages asking if I’d been hacked and where had I gone so suddenly, and was everything okay? Something I learned long ago, when taking an unannounced blogging hiatus during my first-born’s infancy, was that people care. They care where we go, and about what might be going on behind the scenes that’s caused a disruption in our rhythms. Even before I began blogging in 2005 (Happy 10th birthday this week!) I kept on online journal at my pajama shop, and again and again I discovered that folks care. Caring is a value that isn’t lost on most of us, especially as a nurturing community of womenfolk.
I’ve been dancing around the issue all week, after setting up a temporary account to get back into my private groups, and let my sisters and online family know that indeed, everything is okay. (Maybe a little better than okay.)
The tap dance has really had to do with me being in a battle inside of myself: for the ease of moving my sweet and healing SouLodge boat along through social media and coming to terms with the fact that I simply detest the policies at Facebook. One of the things which bothers me the most is the enigmatic way in which photos from my preferred subculture (mothers, babies, nursing mothers, naked baby butts, artful nudity, and the like) are removed (and yes, I fully understand the shadow implications), while all manner of pop-culture skin and crack are paraded around without consequence. We are not in alignment on these items, Facebook and I. Don’t get me started on women-hating and domestic violence posts which appear regularly in the feeds. Some of what happens there really brightens the world, and equally, there is an indulgent culture of careless dither which dumbs-down the population, and perhaps worse, seriously erodes the common person’s time and energy. Don’t we want to take a look at this habit?
After putting too many eggs in Facebook’s basket to conduct my heart’s work and being subservient to their ownership policies (that’s right, our content does not officially belong to us when we put it there) and subject to their robotic whims and trolls regarding names and business/fan page practices, it’s not making sense for me to commune there. I also think my already rampant A.D.D. is worsened by the flash-notifications used.
Earlier this year, I moved my class content to Ruzuku and have been making good use (for years) of Facebook-owned Instagram, (who made the acquisition for $1 billion in cash and stocks in 2012, for those who are interested in the *bottom line*) to share my works with those who graciously care to tune in. While I still have groups to tend to and move to another gathering place over time (I’d love to hear your ideas!), it will be good to be free of the fast-food social media behemoth.
I’ve heard women in business like mine call Facebook a “necessary evil”. Having pondered it especially attentively for the last week, I don’t think any “evil” is necessary for us to have thriving models of commerce and community. We don’t have to cower in fear about where our business will come from or how we can sustain our creative economy. We are the creative economy. I can remember life before Facebook as a business person, and I kind of love that memory. No offense, Facebook, but I like it here better.
To build something meaningful at home is to be the architect of your own life. I’m grateful to be here, in my beautiful online home, making meaning in my way, at my pace, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to wake up to the beauty of my own living room again, and invite you in to sit and slow-dance for a bit.
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I’d love to hear your uplifting stories about carving your own path. What are your fears? Does social media have you by the feather tips?
i love you.
for all your ways of showing up.
for your thoughtfulness, and how you listen, and your sovereignty in making true choices.
all the love to you. i am grateful you exist in this world.
Thank you, sister. It’s a task, I tell you! I’m learning that fast and easy isn’t always best for me. xoxo
Yay! I love you. Love your writing (righting!) and a return to blogging is absolutely an empowering decision. Later I’ll share with you my SoulCollage story about my “Higher Power” card. Eggs in one basket, indeed. This post inspires me. I’ve missed you expressing this way. <3
Clarity! I want to hear your story! I have missed being here, too. How could I not live in this gorgeous house I built??? xoxoxo
Thank you for sharing this! It is something I’ve struggled with… trying to ‘balance’ facebook with life, art, and messages. I’ve spent more time recently updating my website and finally, setting up an email list. Glad I was on yours to receive this post! 🙂 I’m grateful for the internet and the ability to connect with people across cultures, borders, genders, generations,etc! Yet, relying on the various players (insert favorite social media or hosting site here) sometimes makes me uncomfortable, too chaotic with so many to manage, and look for alternatives. Like you, I’m thinking blog and email are my priority for an online foundation/presence. Also, using videos to attempt to get a bit more ‘personal’ and present… embracing vulnerability and storytelling. And love the opportunity to actually meet in person when possible!
Yes, chaos I’m pretty sure we don’t need! Face-to-face is so good. Applause! xo
I love that you signed “Leaning into trust”… “Lean In” is Sheryl Sandberg’s baby, and she and Facebook are difficult to differentiate. I love Facebook for the obvious reason that it is easy to get on top of a very wide array of people’s activities that I enjoy following, but what used to be a fairly streamlined and personally selective process is now being “analyzed” to pieces. I’ve been blogging for years and yet my blog visits have died down immensely since Facebook came about. I think less people see my Facebook posts, too, because of the analytics that funnel people to and fro. I don’t know the science behind it but I really do miss the connection. It makes me wonder about sharing and whether doing so is worth the time or (and?) effort. Alas, as compulsive as I am in certain things (like feeling moved to write, or make art, or rearrange furniture because the room just isn’t right anymore), I don’t see myself stopping with the sharing… but it sure would be nice to feel just a little more witnessed. 🙂 You go, girl… you have a wide and strong audience and you have much to say (and share). <3 xo
Adriane, thank you. Have you read The Courage to Create by Rollo May? I love how he talks about that anxiety which exists in us as artists-the fidgety nature that finds us having to rearrange the furniture *now*, and how our creations, when backed by our fearless willingness to make the work is the true balm. What I’ve seen is that no amount of witnessing is enough for the soul who is healing needing to be seen. It’s a rabbit hole that doesn’t end. Would love to hear more about what you make!
I applaud you sister, for taking the leap to remove FB from your daily life. I am one of those that has called FB a “necessary evil” and I don’t even yet have a business with which it should be necessary or evil as of yet, but it almost seems like it must be used as a way to garner followers in these days of “instant gratification” becoming the norm, especially for younger folks. I look forward to seeing you continue to crash through the barriers of what’s considered “normal” and carve out new ways of gathering, in new containers, for those of us learning from you. Love you. <3
So not a necessary evil! We have to ask ourselves where we were in 2007 without it? I remember what life was like for me and I kind of dug it. 🙂
Wow, Pixie! I respect, honor, and applaud you for taking this stand, and this step ~ away. I have struggled with Facebook existence since the moment I signed up for an account. I really resonate with all that you have to say. I, too, have had a blog since 2005, and I was talking to a sister about it recently: since the advent of my regular use of Facebook, my blog use has dwindled to nil. And I don’t even really post much there. The thoughtful crafting of a blog post I used to relish with care. I can’t remember the last time I posted a blog. And talk about drivle-filled time suck. I didn’t think I had ADD until I got hooked to that feed, and the addictive quality of instant notifications. And I find it sadly ironic that I go immediately from attending an amazingly connective event in real time, real life, face-to-face, to getting addicted to checking facebook bc “someone might post something about that awesome event we just attended in person.” It actually sickens me.
Here’s my fear: missing out. I have friends who have never joined FB. And they don’t hear about stuff that I hear about and that I attend. It’s not that they are not wanted; it’s that people just forget to tell them bc FB use is so damn prevalent. They aren’t included in juicy conversations that happen with my other girlfriends daily. Because it’s just so easy to share on FB.
Thank you for this conversation. And as always thanks for being that Maverick boat-rocker, name-changing shapeshifting will-not-submit cowgirl that you are. I heart you.
FOMO! Fear of missing out. I always think that what I don’t know won’t hurt me when it comes to social stuff. Do you think we can have juicy convos via Group Me, What’s App, phone or text? I have loved those groups so much.
“It’s just so easy”-very true. I’ve just been having to ask myself if it’s what I really want. xoxoxo
Pixie, from the first time I found The Pink Coyote and added it to my blog roll five years ago, I knew for a fact that you are just smart and I’ve continued to pay attention to how you live your life … I’ve also been so happy & thrilled for you with how it’s turning out! And what you’ve shared here about FB really touches a nerve. Since Cat left, I miss her so much and have been taking some good looks at these things. Being pretty old school and far away from family I liked it for keeping in touch and seeing grandkid photos and I do put a connection to new blog posts there but I don’t think I ever will depend on it for business.
Both my husband & I do art and for the first time have a studio space and we’re excited to see where we can go. The thing that I love the most is this online interaction with other women & artists and discussions like this one. Thank you and I always look forward to seeing you, I’m not on Istagram so I’m happy you’re blogging!
Thank you, Susan!! Making art is a great use of precious time and energy, doncha think?? xo
Susan, you are a sweetheart for missing me…seriously, that touched my heart…I am here sister, whether I am on FB, blogging or doing email….I am here xox love and light
…I also wanted to add that I too have felt that flutter of if I am go from that space of FB will I be forgotten…completely illogical and a fear that stems from my own residue of insecurities…it passes quickly, but I can not say they do not flutter by…but I just look at them, chuckle a little and send them kisses of love and light, because true love and light, can and will not ever be forgotten xoxox
Oh Pixie… I am so feeling this post. I have been struggling with letting go of Facebook for a while now. I really post nothing personal, I never share photos of my elves and I have “friends” who are people I don’t even really know or like. It seems like a fake and arbitrary place to connect. But.. and there is a but… my business reaches people there. Facebook has really harshed my mellow by burying my biz page in their reams of policies and not letting those who CHOSE to follow me see it. however so many people find me there and they sign up for workshops and retreats and courses. so what to do?
recently i shared a quote on instagram and got 100+ likes and about 30 comments. But on Fb I got 600+ shares (!!!!) and a viewership of close to 50K. seriously. so there is power in the cyberplace.
i’m really stuck about it too.
oh and i should add the Fb groups are a wonderful way to connect so there’s that.
confused and not sure too.. N
Nancy, it’s really hard to refute that level of fanfare, I get it. I’m not functioning at that level, so I think it’s probably easier for me with my little “narrow and deep” sisterhood to start weaning off the FB tit. It is easy, there’s no denying it. But I’ve been wondering for some time, what’s next? Like, what is going to happen when it does what all things do? And do we get to have a say in what that is and how our shares are received?
What can I say, other than I understand completely, but will also greatly miss what has been my connection to you, and your work/offerings. Is there a way to subscribe, here? I loathe the thought of missing you. xoxo
Erin, you can totally subscribe here! It’s on the main page, you have to scroll down a bit beneath the big photo:
http://pixiecampbell.us4.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=1fc22e04e946e27e8516f54c2&id=7e7ec1eef7
Let’s don’t miss out! Let’s make another way! xo
Silly, me…of course I am already subscribed 🙂
yeah! so much so that i don’t even remember my blog address!! haha
here it is
http://www.tiffanie-moment-by-moment.blogspot.com
Dear Pixie I have missed you and yet want to cheer at your decision to step away from the wheels of the machine x I don’t know what I want to do I am addicted to it I think… I will follow you wherever you are x
Are you addicted, sister??!! How does being on it often impact you? Your family? Your moods? It is a machine and we def don’t have to get stuck in their gears if we don’t want to. It’s hard to have boundaries there, and that’s a test most of us don’t need more of!! Loving you big. xoxo
I really get this. I sort of feel tied to Facebook in that since I’m not as well known as you, if I leave easily accessible places, or places people religiously visit, that I will disappear into the internet void. I was also nervous about that when I left etsy to move to big cartel. Maybe I wouldn’t be as apprehensive if I felt more confident that ‘my’ people will seek me out wherever I go.
I think your people will find you Rachel. Today on IG, sacraluna had some great thoughts on building an online business that I was nodding through the whole time. Insta is another big machine, but I think that we can learn a lot through this evolution so that when it becomes time to strike out on our own and not be dependent on the big circus tents to peddle our wares, we can do that with confidence. xo
Welcome Back Pixie ❤️ Moving away from that which is incongruent with the soul is … IS … Your SoulLodge creation. Period. love you ❤️
I feel like us artists, teachers and creatives sometimes feel like our work is not worth doing or our path is not worth walking almost everybody in the entire world knows about it. So we must plaster the evidence everywhere in search of a connection, but it’s not the true connection we crave. Most of the time the connections on Facebook are very fleeting and superficial and sometimes we even over share which takes the intimacy out of our own lives.
I remember when you blogged at The Pink Coyote. I don’t remember how I came across it, but I almost feel like I was meant to see it. I like to read blog because I feel like I am choosing to read the content versus having it plastered on my Facebook feed. And I feel like if people are meant to see your artwork or to hear your message, they will somehow someway find you whether you were on Facebook or not.
You so gracefully touched my core with this. Beyond grateful for your truth.
Welcome home. ❤️
This might be a good alternative to FB….
https://honey.is
I don’t have a FB account for the reasons you mentioned plus more. (I think so much of it is just gross.) I would love to join you in a meaningful migration away from there!
I am so sorry you had to go through this. Knowing you’ve been thinking on this for the last week or two, I know the answer will come. A connection with your tribe of many that feels like home shall reveal itself. Until then, you have this space. And we will gather here.
Thanks for such a heartfelt inquiry about FB. I have been on a FB haitus for a couple of weeks and life is much lighter – I have more time for creative expression. I am on NING sites with others in the Art Journaling world, and I really like that platform and the sense of privacy and community it builds as a result. I know some people who are exploring using MeWe. Love “Leaning into trust” and “conscious co-dependence”. Thanks for all that you offer so generously.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this – it’s something I wrestle with also.
Loving you x
In many ways it feels like a relief to read this (and also a relief for my eyes – your home is much kinder on the eyes than is fb!). I would also prefer to commune someplace other than fb, given the personal nature of the discussions. Maybe there is a way to host everything you do here on your site?
Hooray for Pixie! This is such an inspirational post! I used to blog all of the time and somehow I stopped, I used to write letters to my friends…and I stopped. Facebook IS the way so many people communicate, the norm. And that’s really really sad! The one thing I love about it, and my only reason for staying at the moment, is the continuing support we can find in the groups from past Soulodge classes. In need of support the other night, I put out a call in the Panther group from last year and lo! Support a plenty from sweet sisters! Thank you for creating two little haven amongst the chaos of Facebook. As a Learner, can I also feedback to you that Ruzuku is WONDERFUL! It is so much calmer, organised, supportive as a platform to dive from. Thank you Pixie, for once again baring the Truth to us and for guiding the way.
Very inspiring blogpost. I think you are right and I have to say that I personally have a “fan page ” (actually two) that I barely use because I have a really hard time to connect that way… Blogging is a nice way to connect and at your advance stage you don’t really need to rely on Social Media to grow “your list”…! Word to mouth and love and trust is your main channel.
Looking forward to connect with you here in your beautiful sacred space.
Oh, Pixie! I, too, began my blog 10 years ago, in August. Since I signed onto Facebook, it has suffered great neglect. Many times, when I’ve created a thoughtful status, I realize that it would have been a perfect blog post. Sometimes I even stop and take it to the blog.
Recently, I have been thinking a lot about the effect of FB on my psyche – that rolling feed of chatter, of personal tragedies & successes, the waste-of-space memes…cluttering my head and taking some of my precious attention and focus. I also know that some of the most profound and meaningful things in my life now came about through the connections I made there.
SouLodge in the Fall of 2011 is one of those markers in my history, a crossroads where the path I chose to walk was full of new wonders and amazing women and spiritual nourishment.
I have been thinking a lot about my blog recently and that its 10th anniversary ought to be a time of renewal. I don’t have many readers at all – especially because I haven’t kept it up with any consistency. But I am thinking that I will shift my attention and effort to it again – use Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to connect and link to it.
Aho, Pixie Lighthorse, thank you for…oh, so much!!
Zann, I would love to receive your blog posts. Ivy.krane@yahoo.com.au
I much prefer email! If it’s on FB, I will likely miss it. As for leaning in, listen to Rising Appalachia sing Lean In, on their latest album, Wider Circles.
Love it. Facebook makes a business out of being the in betweener of all our social relations. It’s disempowering, and when I left it most people I spoke to said they’d do the same if only they had the balls.
Conversations now are more about quality, not quantity.
The only drawback is some people seem to have forgotten how to connect otherwise. I’m just happy remembering we are so much more than a web profile.
Pixie, I would love you to find a better place. FB has been a necessary evil I’d prefer to leave.
I had the same problem with my facebook account and exactly your same thoughts about it!
Weeding my Garden. I have been a very active participant in all the FB hoopla for many years now… Enjoying the sharing….my life is very earth centered living in a rural location without many humans to talk art , spiritual questing, or my photos and paintings of a different kind of life. I found the art connection, interesting comments, new ideas from people around the Earth intoxicating but several months ago it started to feel false and addictive…I still paint , I will always be an artist, but the addictive need to post and paint is fading and I find myself grasping less for acceptance and appreciation for my gifts. I have no idea where my art is headed but learning to release myself from the grasp of social media is feeling more soulful and empowering. Your email struck a deep cord . Well said brave one. The new way is emerging.
Girl!! thank.you.for.this 🙂 reading this was like waking up from a deep coma induced social media fog. You nailed it when you pointed out that FB is easy. I think that is the biggest seduction of it. the ease. I’ve been struggling with it because my new business, the Pie Parlor, is all about the “visit” and the one on one, face to face, community building and my online presence has been a tricky dance for me. You have given me tons of new ways of thnking about this (FB) and I adore you even more than before now. 🙂 until we hug & have pie my sweet sister keep keep’n it real.
Pixie,
Thank you so much for writing this. After ten years of successful blogging, I quit. Cold turkey. I wasn’t even sure why. After a few months, I thought of going back, but the Facebook thing stopped me. It is inundated with so much that I simply don’t believe in, and I had fallen into the “necessary evil” thinking– I didn’t want to do it, but didn’t I need to in order to keep my blog present in people’s minds? It was nice to hear your thinking on this. It’s made me reconsider my online presence and what I have to offer. And isn’t it nice when our words make people think? Many blessings.
Dear Pixie, it was you who brought me into fb when SouLodge changed from typepad and I was very reluctant. I have to say I do see it as a slippery slope. That being said, I am so grateful for the very real connections I made, through your groups, primarily. I have also discovered and made connections with some fantastic artists, and environmental groups on fb. There are those whose posts are such a delight to see that I often start my day seeking them out, to lift me and cheer me for my day. I hope that there is something out there that will continue to garner the connections that have been found in the SL groups, for which I am ever so grateful. Heck, I’ve met someone in my own town I would have never known if not for you and SL!!! Love to you and yours – I hope to see more of you and your lovely creations (including those lovely little souls, Miles Lighthorse and Ivy Tallulah) here. I found you on Pink Coyote, and have followed and will follow you wherever you go. xo
Thank you for your insights and your integrity. We will find you here. We’ll find a way to stay connected that is in alignment. I am trusting that, too. FB has been useful and I’ve loved communing with other women at SL, but in truth dealing with Big Social Media depletes my energy as often as it raises it, and I feel a growing uneasiness in that space.
Congrats on your blog’s birthday! I was just discussing starting my first blog when I read your entry. I’ll take this as a sign! 🙂
I like this post and I agree with most of what you have to say about Facebook and it’s policies, especially those that ban tasteful and artful nudity, bare breasts, breastfeeding mothers, and baby bottoms.
The tough part for me is that I never was able to get a following or develop any connections at all with my blog. It just felt like sending stuff out to a black hole. I only got a handful of comments per year and most were people directed by Facebook anyway. It has been close to 2 years since my last blog post. I often consider starting it up again but, the thought of more work for little to no pay off is what always turns me off.
Facebook can be very superficial and there is definitely a lot of useless bloat but, I get feedback & make connections. My studio and art gallery co-op is promoted there. We have had a good track record of promoting events and classes there. Perhaps expanding would be a good thing.
Do you have any suggestions for making connections through blogging?
ahhhhh FaceBook….I am so with you sister…I really do not believe it is a necessary evil we need….being away from it this month has been such a gift, on so many levels, within myself and my home. I have enjoy the stillness of it’s absence. It is a easy way for the quick connection, but I am looking for so much more in the long term basket of my life…I don’t want just quick snippets of those I love and admire…I want to marinate when ever it is possible. You also bring up an important piece of information that most people do not seem to know…the fact that everything we place on FB is no longer our own property…important to know. It is an interesting time when we are brought so close to one another and yet have become so distracted because of the “machine” that brought us there…My thought it is another opportunity for us to make mindful/healthy choices for our selves…I look forward to seeing you more frequently here sister, it that is what comes to be, other wise, as always, I am loven you and your wild ways xox Love and light
I have been pondering all of this since reading your post Pixie…my truth is, what you wrote at the very beginning of this post is what resonates deeply with me…putting our eggs in the basket of that which is bigger than us is such a huge part of freedom…freedom from what we see as the necessary evils, freedom to change our mind if necessary, freedom to stay, freedom to move on…something that comes to mind is the thought that many of us seem to walk with…the one that says if we make a decision to do something we are not allowed to change out mind, so the result of it is that we create back doors, escape routes, ways of, as you wrote, keeping a toe on the threshold…just in case…this reflects to me the scarcity of living that plagues our time..that one that says grab it now because there will be none left if your neighbour gets it first. These mind sets create all sorts of problems, in the way that we are never fully immersed in the experience at hand, because the trust of the unknown is not there…the unknown for me, being the Great Mystery…and yet, time and time again, when I have put my faith into that place of The Great Mystery, of Spirit…not knowing…I have never been let down, never let go of, never abandon. It does not need to make sense, not do I need to know all things, I can trust, even if I can not see. (This is turning into a bit of a rant lol) What I am trying to say is there is not necessary evils, because there are sacred places in which FB has not consequence, where business strategies have no voice, and where marketing is inconsequential….it is in these places I have found my greatest peace, my greatest success, my greatest freedom…freedom to live fully, fall down, get back up, love wildly, screw up deeply and start again over and over and over. We do not need to be attached to what we are told is the only way to have out voices be heard…we get to create out own way, and we will be heard and found, because out eggs are in that bigger basket…that basket that is beyond human understanding….rant over : )…..love and light sister xox
I’m so glad to read your words. I checked here just last week to see if you’d blogged recently because I realized I hadn’t read any blog posts of yours lately.
What you’ve said about facebook is so timely for me. In early June I decided to temporarily deactivate my account. After a little over a week having it deactivated, I reactivated – but I didn’t fully go “back.” I removed myself from over half of the fb groups I was in. Also, I installed a plug-in that doesn’t show me *anything* in my feed (it also gets rid of the “trending” that showed on the side of my computer screen – I use fb on desktop or laptop, not mobile).
Many weeks have passed and I still have the plug-in installed. I sometimes post to my page or my timeline, I sometimes hit the option on instagram to automatically post a photo to fb at the same time, and sometimes I check in with some of the fb groups I still belong to, including SouLodge Alumni (and I’ve just recently joined the group for the autumn session with Snake). But I check in with groups to a very limited extent, and unless I visit someone’s page or timeline I don’t see any posts… because literally I have nothing in my feed, and I don’t visit any of the “custom” feeds or lists I’ve put together over the years.
There has been fear of missing out. There has been feeling some guilt for not keeping up better with interacting with people on facebook. There has been wondering about what to do regarding how much I participate on fb going forward.
But this time being barely-there on fb has been *great* for me. Within hours of deactivating my account, I it became obvious I had been spending more time there than I realized (even though I had already cut way back) and what an almost knee-jerk and automatic reaction I had to checking fb so often (even though I’ve never had it on my phone).
In these past weeks of reactivating my account but having my newsfeed blank, there have been two days when I’ve spent more time on fb than in all the other days – and I very quickly felt the difference in my energy (and not in a positive way). In many ways I’ve loved not feeling like I’m so connected to fb, and I really don’t know when I’ll turn my feed back on – or if I’ll ever go back to being fully “there” on facebook again. I’m just not sure. In many ways I enjoy social media – but in other ways, I’m enjoying my life more with less social media, and being more like the way my life “used to be.” I’m doing other things with my time – and that feels good.
Pixie, I am interested to follow how this evolves for you. What I found when I tried a membership site instead of FB, was that I had to work to remind people to visit the site whereas they visit FB without prompting. I finally decided that was more exhausting than dealing with FB. 🙂 If you want to brainstorm at some point, you have my email. I too would love a non-FB solution!
I loathe Facebook. I use it when I take online classes and otherwise I have to force myself to check in a couple of times a week. Doesn’t that seem silly? I’m all for finding another way to communicate en masse. I’ll follow you wherever you go. 🙂 xxx
Re-reading this again, because it resonates with me so much. I’m sorry you have gotten caught up in the brewhaha of the machine. I struggle sometimes, because intuitively, I am not a very “public” person, and though I often find myself making social media posts for small businesses (everyone’s got to make a dime), I wonder at how I use it personally. I have different “audiences” — the “public” one which I use to forward causes (is this really even effective??), the one that is shut down a bit more, which I use to share photos and personal information for family and friends, and the “really” locked down one, where I share stuff I probably should share by telephone anyway. The fact that I have it so compartmentalized bothers me. The fact that I sometimes feel as though I need to continue to post things to “appear” in the world of faraway friends bothers me. This is not the way we should be sharing our lives. It’s not the way we should be communicating. I feel like the pseudo-connection of social media has taken away long phone calls, afternoon coffee dates, and gatherings around the kitchen table. Every time I try to step away, though, I get caught up in the nature of it — what about the photos, videos, etc? What if that friend (or “friend”) never calls? And I don’t even use it to make a living…
I appreciate that you are starting a long-overdue conversation about this. And I am curious how you have dealt/are dealing with the conflict of whether or not to use this format. I’m looking forward to hearing more of your thoughts on this. And most importantly, keep in touch! <3
Congratulations Pixie for having the courage to step out of the “norm”. I have always resisted FB and everytime I tried to set up an account, it didn’t FEEL right and backed out again. Unfortunately this has meant that I missed out connecting with sisters on some workshops. I am on some ning sites and enjoy the intimacy and safety of the groups there. I’d be happy to follow you on an alternative, and I really enjoy your blog. Much love xo
Oh my, I so resonate with this. I struggle with Facebook also. It’s a time suck and completely draining, but I wouldn’t have met all of the wonderful people that I have if not for this way of connecting. But I’m tired of the other stuff that I run into in my feed. I’m tired of feeling like I have to check it to stay connected or belong. The idea of going back to my blog is growing on me and there are other ways of marketing it that are not so demanding. I’m on this path with you, looking for the “new” way. Thank you for opening up the conversation…it’s not so lonely this way. 🙂
Oh, how I loved this post. It resonates deeply with me. I actually made the decision in February of this year to leave all social media that didn’t fulfill me creatively. I didn’t have a healthy relationship with Facebook or Instagram, so I left both. And I have not regretted it since. I continue to blog because it fulfills me creatively and I feel true connections to those who visit and comment and reach out to me. I had a lot of fear initially because I was trying to grow my blog and my fledgling photography business, but my intuition just kept telling me that it wasn’t healthy or good for me. That I wasn’t really connecting with anyone at all through those two platforms. So I took a leap of faith, deleted my accounts and within a day, felt tremendous peace and freedom. I just do not miss it. I have written more letters and dropped more cards in the mail and made more phone calls in the time since than I have in years. And at the end of the day, I firmly, firmly believe that this beautiful Universe will provide – provide me with true connections with kindred spirits, and that the right people/clients will come my way, and everything I need will be provided. Even if it doesn’t look like what I thought it would.
Thank you for this beautiful and honest post! I hope others will be inspired to disconnect from social media and get out there and truly connect with what fills up their hearts and what nourishes their spirits.
(((Dearest))) You rock. In so many ways. Last Friday, I arrived back on the FB from a week+ hiatus in cleansing/releasing preparation for my natal anniversary, and found your account gone. While concerned, I really did believe, “YAY She jumped ship!” 🙂 But only in the best of ways. I hope it does not sound callous when I say, “I love the way the Universe unfolds” …but I do, I love her magic, and how very magical it seems for this to have happened – and how much I love your words, so many of which feel spoken straight to my own heart – so Thank you. Thank you for what you always bring to the table – and how you serve it up. <3 It is thrilling to be witness for sure. No – I have no ideas on moving forward, other than, I will be on every news letter list, and now pop in here more regularly for keeping up. But honestly, I don't believe you'll have problems with keeping in touch- or sharing the wealth of your brilliant life. Aho Bright One
yes. just simply…yes.
and thank you. the feeling was a strange sense of relief, to see someone take their feet off a path that no longer serves even if it has become so utterly familiar and…expected. how beautiful to return to complete thoughts expressed, ramblings and poignant stories of meaning rather than small snippets of canned down emotions, feelings, teachings…made instant-sized for the mass-production machine that is FB. ♥
Pixie,
I’ve often wondered if there’s a better way than FB…as I’ve called it a necessary evil (for marketing business) many times. I admire you so much! I am going to ponder what to do, if anything, with my social media habit.
I look forward to coming back to your blog…and maybe mine too!
xoxo
Melissa “Tutu”
stay true to you. Facebook should realize some people go
Weeks without checking email or FB messages. They have
Your phone number- they should have called. You could
Have been I’ll it in an accident. It shows how dehumanized
FB social media i!
I loved this post which ironically I found due to Melody Ross sharing on FB. I shall continue to follow your blog. I too need to get back to blogging. It is how I met and made so many wonderful art friends! So glad to have found you.
Cindy
Dearest Pixie, I came today by way of Stacy (graciously sharing with those who missed it, what happened on fb) and although I am disheartened by what happened, I am more interested in what it might spur or perhaps better said, what it might spark for you…for all of us. The eggs in one basket metaphor resonates with me especially right now, going through challenging but necessary examination of my own partnership trappings (for better or for worse). I’m inspired and comforted by the thought of trusting “something greater”. Thank you for that. Maybe I’m stating the obvious but I can’t help but feel that this conversation (although finding its beginnings with a painful, destructive slight) has brought something forth, from the dark underground. Finding the light here is the best, most natural, organic and authentic way to turn something that was becoming unfruitful into something that can provide far more than you (we) could ever imagine. Full, abundant, plentiful, thriving. I will be following closely along, exited and energized by the endless possibilities. Love and support to you, always. xo
FB to me has helped me connect with so very many women and long lost coworkers and acquaintances. That being said I have been a rebel all of my life and don’t particularly like being told by an entity what I can & cannot post. I have been very busy planning my daughter’s wedding but now that she is off on her honeymoon I cannot wait to get back to my Champagne and Pearls Blog and reconnect with womenfolk!!! Thank you for sharing your feelings and for leading us back!! xo
I cannot tell you how much this post resonates after last night. Maya and I had the honor to go see a friend perform at the Joffrey Ballet School in NYC. Her troupe, The Architects – a group of 4 women in their 40s – have been performing completely improvised dance together for over 20 years, since their days at Middlebury College. I cannot tell you how incredible it was to watch them trust each other, to watch them lean in and understand implicitly that the others would be there in exactly the right way at exactly the right time and even if the movement didn’t go as planned they would shift and change in all the ways they needed to in order to keep moving, keep dancing. During the Q & A afterward they spoke about this level of trust and also about the way they have been able to navigate through their “outside” lives because of what they have built through this type of dance. How their emphasis on trust and play and compassion and LISTENING to the other women during rehearsals and performances was the key to being a human being in the wider world. The absolute necessity of a PAUSE, waiting and watching to see what the others would do at any given moment before leaping in. This pause – although somewhat counterintuitive – was the way in. The way through. The path to a beautiful collaboration. And what was so striking to me was that despite dancing so brilliantly as a group, they also maintained their individual points of view, their individual strengths were so apparent which made it all the more fascinating and fantastic to witness. Your last paragraph is absolutely an echo of that dance. As for Facebook, I am more and more interested in leaving and this adds fuel to my fire. Scary, in some strange way, yes. It’s become a crutch and I am guilty of calling it a “necessary evil.” But I know from my own experience in my personal life that trusting and leaping are the means to every good ending. I love you, woman. SO glad you are here. And there. Makes my heart sing to know you are circling around a full moon with good women this week. Maya and I are with you in spirit until we can be with you in the flesh. xo
I applaud you, Sister. If it is okay for me to say this, now I see you…I received your blog email in my inbox about the Blue Moon ritual and I really felt you, I saw you…you put your heart and time into the write up on the full moon…I was actually going to forward your Blue Moon article to a friend who is also a follower of yours and tell her that I feel like something shifted in you but instead I decided to really see you some more…I wanted more of this Pixie Lighthorse and then I saw this post about you being off facebook and I got it because honestly up until this point, I hadn’t read your writings or emails because I, too, have been off facebook and everyone “out there” in the spiritual/uplifting/metaphysical/healing world was starting to be the same post one could find on facebook and I can’t stand that the only way to fit in with these on line communities is to have a facebook account…something about healing/spiritual/mystical experiences and learning just doesn’t vibe with facebook, almost like it is an insult to the sacredness of the teachings and way. So I applaud your bravery, sister…I respect you more and feel I want to journey with you now more than ever because what you are showing is REAL, RAW and AUTHENTIC, how I applaud you. You may not know me or recognize me because I only took one of your programs and it was a gift from a friend, I dreaded being added to a facebook group and didn’t want that vibe and that feeling that the only way I could connect was if I was in a facebook group…it cheapens the experience. I honor you, I bow to you and I stand with you…these teachings are sacred, thank you for honoring yourself and the teachings. One more thing I would like to touch on is yes, those of us in this community do indeed care when we read blogs and websites such as yours…how can we not…these are deep healing teachings and wisdom that are being shared…Did you create this website only to be seen and read? NO, you and others create these websites and courses to benefit the greater good so it only makes sense for us to care, to reply to these posts, to reply to your emails…heck I reply to bloggers all the time…do they acknowledge me?…sometimes but I am sure they must think I am overstepping the boundaries if I reply regularly or I assume because they stop responding but their website updates continue to arrive in my inbox and I wonder if they think we are not supposed to respond or care…we just read and keep our mouths shut or pay for the course and not interact via email because they have a facebook or instagram site….or is it really about connecting and sharing the truth so people can care, open their hearts, awaken, connect and become even if they don’t have an instagram or facebook account…..do we become like precious cattle being herded in, not really being seen, heard or appreciated in the facebook groups or instagram world…do we, the observer, the student really matter….or is the information, sacred information just to be thrown out there like a bone for us to chow on….the online spiritual world has this air about them like don’t respond to my website emails, find me on facebook and hopefully someone in the group will respond before I need to acknowledge you…that is what facebook groups felt for me…I see you, I see that you are getting back to the roots and I applaud you. Your bravery to treat those who follow you like the precious beings we are is a profound movement…because everyone thinks they need a facebook account for people to care…I care and I have been off of facebook for over a year now…Now I am interested in this Pixie Lighthorse, I hope you don’t mind if I do care about you and your journey and what is going on without me being on instagram…I am on pinterest, though, LOL…I care, I see you…journey on, bright sister, journey on.